I think I am making progress...

I don't know where I am going with this post, expect a long windy one. It is a -get it sorted out of my head-venty one.

So I am still having this dilemma. Though I think I am making some headway into figuring it out. I am feeling the need to buck the main stream. I have never considered myself mainstream, yet somehow I feel as though I have been lost in it. From the way I live and what I wear to what I have in my house. I seem to have this desire to please others and try to pick things things that I think others would like, not what I like. It is what Dave likes though, and I like to make him happy.

Therefore we have a mainstream house. All matchy, not that it is not nice, there just aren't a lot of unique pieces. I don't want to be cookie cutter. It is cozy though and I like that feel.
I am glad that I don't live in a new area of town with cookie cutter box houses like we used to in St. Albert AB.

Not that I don't miss it, nice big garage off the front of the house, big driveway, quiet crescent, nice neighbors. And we did have an open concept, vaulted ceilings house, maybe that is why I liked it. But I don't want it again. It was nice and new feeling, but lacked that lived in cozy warm character feeling. No big trees in the yard, no history in the walls or mouldings, no squeaky floor boards, or drafty windows, actually now that I really think of it, it did have some squeaks.
OK, now why do I like this old character home I am in now?
Good question!

There are bugs, old funny smells and drafts and leaks. But somehow it feels more loved and homey, maybe it is the wood burning fireplace. However, I am still in this crisis.
Do you ever watch worlds most extreme homes (click here) on HGTV?
I want to live in a weird home....I think. Well, so far anyway, on this road to rediscovery I think that is what I want.

Now you wonder about my poor husband and how does he fit into all this? He is perfectly fine with cookie cutter, really likes it actually. And all our normal stuff in the house, he loves, that is why we got it! He could actually do with a lot less of it.
He would really like to move to a house with a garage again and last night brought up the discussion.
He said "Anna, is this our 15 year house?"

Now that I think of it, it could be but with the tiny yard and no garage, I know it really isn't. I love the area though and it's proximity to the park and the character and trees. I hope we can find another house in the area. Maybe a 1950's contemporary, though Dave hates hates the flat roofs. We'll find the compromise, I hope.

But....then there is also this.
I read an article in the paper by Lynda Reeves this weekend. I really don't like her show, but she does have these moments where I get her. This weekends article hit home. She was writing about being a designer and the Canadian misconception that bigger is always better. She used to think that way too, till she was in an argument with a former mate and he said he was happy with their smaller space. She then opened a fortune cookie that read "A small house can hold just as much happiness as a big one."

I realize it is what you do with the space that you have and how functional you make it.
So the issue is not finding a bigger house but the most functional one. This house we are in is very functional for me. There are a few changes I would like to make to make it more functional, but I really cannot complain. For Dave it is lacking. No garage. This is a big issue for a guy who loved to putz in his domain and now has a shed. With his big ladder rack on his truck and all his work equipment and a snowy winter approaching I totally understand his desire for an indoor space for all his stuff.

I guess a move is required.
I hate moving.

So I want to focus on working on this space till we find the perfect house.
I am hoping that finding the perfect house will solve my issues in this crisis, but I wont hold out hope because just the looking process stresses me out to no end.
I just want the perfect place plopped down in front of me.