Thursday, April 26, 2007


We're getting there....working with HTML is not fun. It is starting to shape up though thanks to some help from BeachMama and my handy hubby who got the banner up. It still needs a lot of work but it is something for now!

Bare with me.....

I am messing around with backgrounds and am having some trouble, I know it is hard to read and I am working on fixing it, hopefully by tonight I will have it fixed. Sorry and good luck, you will probably be bug-eyed if you make it through the whole post!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A little perspective goes a long way.

Am I the only crazy mom out there whos kids are still up at this late hour?(11:42pm)
I for one like this time of night and find that my creativity peaks when most sane people go to bed. Dave is also a night hawk so it's no wonder we struggle to get our kids to bed at a decent hour. I usually try to have them down by 10:00 but sometimes there is no way! Tonight is no exception, a perfect cap to my harrowing, pulling hair out by the fistfull (considering shaving whats left)kind of day. I am exausted!

Ethan is nursing now and finally drifting off and Daddy is reading to Kaitlyn trying to wind her down enough to not jump on the bed. What a day this has been! It started off so badly and refused to get better till later afternoon and went down hill again after supper, both children were very needy and energetic today.

It is now 10 after 12 and both babies are now sleeping, Ethan in his crib and Kaitlyn in our bed. Ahhh, I can finally let my shoulders slump and exhale. These days are trying on Dave too and we get snappy at each other when we don't have enough time together.

Well I managed to get the poop out of the carpet, finally. It had to wait most of the day since I couldn't have the kids around the chemicals, but it is out. That wasn't the only oops today, only the first one. After her little poop, which she informed me of what she had done by running to me with outstretched hands, crying "poop, poop," with it smeared on her precious little finger tips. We cleaned her up and put her in her new 'underwear', which is actually Dora pull-up's (I tricked her into thinking they are big girl underwear) and she ran off to play.

About twenty minutes later she runs up "poop, poop." Again? Yup, I smell it. So off we go to change her 'underwear'. Now I had to pull down the pull-up with a load in it. This was a disaster and she ended up with poo all down her legs and on her feet. Bath time!

The rest of the day seemed almost smooth except for the fact that neither child would nap when I wanted and once Ethan was down for his, Kaitlyn would make some noise and get him going again, then it was a battle to try and calm both down.

I took them outside after lunch to see if they would calm down and it worked for a while. Kaitlyn got a trike last night and played on that for a few minutes then hung off my leg the remainder of our time out there. Then Ethan fussed and needed nursing and of course Kaitlyn fought him on it and wanted to nurse too. Today if seemed all she wanted was to nurse or hang off me, my shoulders actually are really sore.

Thank goodness Dave came home early and helped out in the afternoon. I was beat! There was more to the day, but to sum it up the kids were both in continuous need of attention and were very draining today, I am so tired and need to head to bed.

However there was a moment, the kind that sticks with you and you cherish, the kind that reminds you that it is worth it, the kind that God sends to give you that little bit of encouragement when you think you're about to crack, the kind that makes everything else fade away.

Right after supper Ethan was chillin in Daves arms smiling away at Katie (she stopped by for a few hours) and Kaitlyn disapeard to her room. After a while I decided to go see what she was up to and peeked around the door to her room. She was playing baby, trying to change the diaper on her doll, pretending to nurse, playing peek-a-boo and having a play nap with it. Humming a little and chatting a little pretending to be mommy. So humbling to watch. She made me cry, it was beautiful. She had no idea I was there and she busied herself as she sees me do.

I never realized she paid so much attention, but she notices every detail! It made me put my day back into perspective and see the bigger picture, this day is only like a moment, and every minute counts and I have to make sure that I don't get bogged down in the little things, like poop on the carpet or spilled juice or little puddles and bare bums.

This is a part of exploring their new world and I should try to make it fun and not get upset over the 'spilled milk'. There are much more important things to worry about, we are raising little humans, what a resposibility, and every action of ours is scrutinized by them and then mimicked. They want to be like us, the misserable failures that we are. It is just too much!
I have to remember to be a good example all the time, and not let a little poop ruin my day or cloud my vision. I have 2 wonderful, bright, usually cheerful babes to wake up to. I love them!

Is the Sith near by...

I am on day two from the dark side! This is not going well!!! I am hating this potty training thing. This morning I am trying to work seedy green, ground in poop out of a white shag carpet. I must continue the fight, where are those Jedi's???

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Help! My babe is potty training, I think.

Am I missing something?! Are these signs or something?
Tonight as I was getting supper on the table Kaitlyn was playing quietly around the corner (that should have been my first signal) and so I let her be, it had only been about two minutes.
I peeked around the corner then to see what was going on and noticed her diaper on the floor and went to pick it up, slipping on something soft and gooey. Poop! All over my heel and in two little lumps on the floor. Kaitlyn sat in the hall with a pair of swimming pull-ups around her ankles, she had decided to change her own diaper. What am I supposed to be doing? Is this how she says "potty train me."? She certainly does let us know when she needs a change and even brings a diaper to be changed into.
This morning we had another incident, she kept saying "pee" and was hanging out in the bathroom so I took her clothes off and sat her on her potty and I sat on the big one. She then passed me a book grabbed one for herself, crossed her feet and looked at her book. "Yaa" I thought "she's gonna go." Then she stood up pulled apart her potty, wiped her bum and went over to the towel bar and stood there... peeing all over the floor, the plunger, a mirror and some plugs.
Why didn't she just go when she was on the potty, she knew exactly what she was doing! She seems to hate her potty and would rather pull it apart and use the bowl to put toys in or as a hat. I have read that potty training works best if you wait till the child is over the age of two, and I was planing to wait.
She has had moments where she wants to pee on the potty, but they have been few and far between, so I didn't push her.
Now I think she may be sending signals and I don't want to ignore them, but I am just not certain of exactly what I should be doing. Any advice out there?

-It is now 4 hours since I wrote the above. Since then Kaitlyn once again took off her pants and both diapers we put on her, (one was for insurance, we thought she might just take one off and not notice the other) no fooling that smarty pants! She put underwear on this time, for a few minutes then went bare bum. After about twenty minutes she pointed to herself and said "pee-peeee" so I whisked her off to her potty witch she promptly stood beside and peed. I praised her and gave high fives, at least we made it to the bathroom.
Now how do we get her to go in the potty? I've heard of the 'aiming at cheerios' method for boys, what about girls?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

First of all, I hate this picture of me, but I always hate pictures of me sleeping. This is how we sleep, all snuggled up in our now way too small queen sized bed, and I wouldn't give it up for the world! I get a lot of flack for doing this but it seems to work the best for us.
Before Kaitlyn was born I had absolutely no intentions of having her sleep with us, but that first night in the hospital I just couldn't put her down, I was so in love with her! Once home I tried to put her in the bassinet but just wanted to hold her. Then we found out that she was jaundiced and were told to feed her every 2 hours, so I brought her into bed with us. I just loved holding her, spooned in tight close to my body. Dave would take turns with her sleeping on his chest and loved that too. At that time we planned (I say 'we' loosely because it really was me) to put her in her own bed by 3 months, then it was 6 months, then 9, then by age 2. Every time I would put her in her own bed, turn on the baby monitor and go to bed I would lay there listening like crazy making sure I could hear her breathing. Then I would swear I could hear all kinds of other things (ghosts, the house and her toys coming alive) over the monitor and my imagination would go wild! She would make the slightest peep and I would run in to make sure she was ok. I slept less and she did too, so I brought her back to bed with us. I have friends that were at the time doing the cry out method according to the 'Happy sleep, Healthy child' book and were pushing that I give it a try. I caved and we tried it out. Huge mistake!!! After crying for over half an hour I could hardly bear it and she was not doing well, her breathing sounded tight. We went in held her, tried to comfort her and calm her down. She was so worked up she wouldn't even nurse. We tried everything and after 3 hours of wailing, she was hyperventilating and we headed for the hospital. Once there she calmed down and we had a chat with the doc's. They said there are different types of babies and their personalities vary like adults do. There is no one thing that will work for every baby and you have to feel it out and do what works best for you and baby. Ah, music to my ears. I then stared to do some reading up on baby sleep and found out that in most parts of the world babies sleep with their parents and that putting a baby in a crib in another room is a modern western European/American tradition. Babies who sleep with the parents (in the sames room even) were more rested and better natured than those who didn't. As for long term effects, kids turned out about the same, so it is just what works best at the time. We decided to test this theory. So when Ethan was born we planned to put him in the bassinet next to the bed. Turns out he was such a noisy sleeper none of us were getting any rest. We moved him to the baby room and turned on the monitor, and again I heard creepy noises and layed there staring at the ceiling all night listening. The next day I was exhausted so we had to find a solution. We headed to Toys R Us and bought a $%^* expensive video monitor. Aaaaah, peace, I could now watch and listen, it was perfect! We all were sleeping much better. Kaitlyn was still with us, and quite happy and Ethan seemed to really like it on his own. (so much for that theory) turns out this is what was best for us and was working. Then...Ethan started to teeth, waking hourly howling mad. After a few sleepless nights in the rocker, drifting off now and then and waking with a kink in my neck I brought him to bed with us. This is what works for us now. It is rather squishy, but we all sleep! Dave and I both look forward to having our bed back someday, but right now waking up to their cheery little faces is the best thing in the world!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

New Resolve and 10 step plan

I am on day three and step 4 of my new 10 step plan new resolve to keep the house clean. It took two days, Dave taking the kids for long walks and four hours of crazy work like mad cleaning. Every nook and cranny of the living/dining room front hall and kitchen have been cleaned, dusted, sorted and washed. What an amazing feeling and the hubby is happy! I finally got stuff put away that has been sitting around since we moved in, the space feels so much bigger!

I still have to go through the bedrooms and sort clothes, get rid of a bunch, and tidy up. Getting rid of clothes, especially the kids is not something I am ready to do just yet, I might need them again someday. At least right now that is my excuse.

So I have been picking up as I go along, which sometimes I really don't want to do and think 'I'll come back to that in a few minutes', but I now I really won't so I am forcing my self to do it as I go. I hope it becomes second nature really quickly because right now it's hard and sometimes I just want to sit down and pretend I don't have to do it.

I am now sitting here blogging feeling almost guilt free, I know there is still laundry to be done, but there always is. It is like a burden has been lifted, well partially anyway, and my mind has some creative space to play, no longer crowded by clutter distracting and nagging me. I still have another 6 steps to go before I am completely free, but I understand they are steps and progress is progress. Right!? I hope I can keep this up and now that I have shared it and people know about my struggle I hope this helps me to be more accountable. I should go now and work on the next step while both babies are napping (a rare occurrence when they do it together). I usually try to take advantage of their naps and sneak one in of my own but I chugged coffee today so I will survive!

Dave and I made a pact that he take the kids for regular walks sans me so I can get this house work done without taking time away from them. Hope this keeps working!

This is what it should always look like, ahh, uncluttered space!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Domestic Diva dream

I said the next post would be about co-sleeping but, well this is what is on my mind today, so I'll let the co-sleeping one brew for a bit.
I know I should be doing laundry (the piles are never ending) or dishes, or sweeping, or cleaning, why does it seem I never get caught up? I guess it's because I never do catch up! I would rather play with the kids or blog or anything else my scatterbrained mind can get distracted by. Oh, I want to be a domestic diva in the worst way, I just don't even know where to start or how to keep it up. I skip from one thing to the next and start a million projects and never complete any of them. This drives Dave crazy! He likes order and every thing in its place. I do to but I just can't seem to keep it that way. The days that I do manage to get the house straightened up and dinner on the table and the kids are bathed and smelling good...are the best days. I feel like I have accomplished something and when Dave walks through the door he is happy, despite how his day has gone. Oh I wish, wish, wish I could do it every day! However by the next day there is more play-dough ground into the carpet, dishes piled up, laundry creeping up to my eye-balls and I feel like I am back in that hole! If only the house could keep itself clean, or the kids would take naps together every day. If I did work my butt off every minute of every day I know I could keep up on it, but I feel I would be letting my kids suffer and I would never get that creative release I so need to stay sane. So my house suffers and is rarely tidy, but (I hope) my kids are well adjusted and happy. When they are grown and out of the house I will have all the time I need to clean and won't look back and wish I had spent more time with my kids. As much as I love a clean house I love happy babies more!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Here goes...warning...breast-feeding vent.

I decided I wanted a place I could vent or just air whatever is going on in my head, how regularly I do this is yet to be seen. I find I often want to say things on my main blog but I know that may of my readers (especially the grandpas) wouldn't like to read it nor would I want them to. This way those of you who want to know my ramblings from a mommy point of view can read here.

So .... there have been a few things lately that have been on my mind, brought to my attention via other blogs and e-mails, so I thought I would share my point of view. You may change your view of me or decide I am crazy, for those of you who love me anyway,,,thank you, this is me!

yes I still breast feed both babies. People ask all the time and make comments about this but it is decision I have made and am quite happy about it. We have had a few rough patches over the last 20 months. When I hit my second trimester with Ethan, Kaitlyn was only 6 months old and didn't take a bottle ( we pushed and pushed it regularly to no avail) and my milk turned back to colostrum. She starved for a month and 2 days, sipping bits of water here and there to keep herself alive. I was afraid for her life and we saw doctors and nurses every few days. They kept telling me that a baby will not let itself starve and after 2 weeks will take a bottle. Kaitlyn was stubborn and pushed the limits, she lost weight, became listless and no longer had regular poops or pees, I was freaking out! She would try to nurse every 30 minutes around the clock, and would cry and cry, this was a horrible time for us and I cried along with her. When she finally came to terms with her willpower and took the bottle we were all so happy! We came so close to loosing her (or so I thought) I just couldn't understand how the health professionals didn't take it more seriously!
Once Ethan was born and I was nursing him in the hospital Kaitlyn took her bottle threw it, climbed up on the bed and tried to push Ethan out of her way, she wanted to nurse again. I hadn't planned on this but found that it was precious time just for the two of us, when she could have me all to herself. So still to this day I am nursing both of them, usually taking turns, though there are times I have nursed both of them at the same time, so back-breaking!
When it comes to supply I have been blessed with more milk than both of them could ever finish and they are little chubs. However just over a week ago I got Mastitis, and that awful engorged feeling was there, I hadn't had that for 6 month! I thought I was coming down with a flu bug, had a killer headache, was light sensitive and achy, I had a sore boob but thought it was just tired(sometimes they get sore and tired). By the time I went to bed I had the chills and was quivering so I took 2 Tylenol and hit the sack. The next morning I still had a sore boob and it felt hot and hard, that was when I realized I had to get to the doc asap. I got the meds and am fine now, we caught it in time! Other than that I have been very lucky and had no other complications. Now I just have to decide when it's time to ween, I think soon, definitely by K's second b-day.

Ok, thats a start, next up for topics is co-sleeping, I have had a lot of flack and some support over this one...and well a lot of debates, seems to be a hot, really hot topic out there right now.